Star Lake, or, Lost Innocence

As you all know by now, Molly has been battling some fierce chafing recently. Every hour or so, she stops riding and shoves some Gold Bond down her shorts. Today I got curious. I mean, hey, I like minty freshness as much as the next gal. So this afternoon I powdered up with my traveling companion and we agreed, this might be something we stick with during the long hot summers in NYC.

A few miles down the road we found our home for the night at Star Lake Campground. The ducks were running across the surface of the water like hilarious little motorboats, the water was the perfect swimming temperature, and I went back to my bike to get my bathing suit. Since there were children running about, I displayed uncharacteristic modesty and went into the ladies outhouse to change. I was halfway there when the door I thought I’d locked earlier flew open and I was suddenly confronted with a 7 year old boy. I pulled the door shut in his wide eyed little face as his grandfather started yelling at him from afar, but not before he got a good look at me standing there in nothing but a stars and stripes bikini on top and a heavy dusting of Gold Bond down below.

I actually thought about going after the kid to put the fear of God in him as only an indignant stranger can, but then I thought better of it. I mean, I already screwed up that poor kid for life. When he sees a Gold Bond-free vagina for the first time, he’ll probably think there’s something horribly wrong with it.

Later, his older brothers brought us a peace offering of burgers. The little snoop was nowhere to be seen. Probably in his first of many therapy sessions already.

Oh, and we accepted the burgers. Duh.

This is the culprit on the left in a photo taken the following morning. His face is priceless.

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